Being autistic is like driving a manual transmission car. It can be challenging, but the performance can be worth it.
I have a great mom. I'm sure I'll talk more about her in this space, but for today let's start with the fact that she required me to learn how to drive a manual transmission car when I was a teenager. At the time (and still today) I thought it was a pain in the neck, especially driving around town.
But that knowledge and "muscle memory" of how to coordinate the shifting of the gears with the rate of speed and RPMs allowed me to later have a lot of fun as life went on, first owning a Volkswagen Beetle in my early 20s to riding my own Harley Davidsons in my late 40s!
A Manual-Processing Brain
In a way, being autistic is like having a manual transmission brain and mind. Neurotypical brains seem more like an automatic transmission car - with most of the mechanics of processing happening in the background, often seamlessly and maybe not even consciously.
Gearing Up and Down: Sensory Experiences
Our sensory experience is a great example. When a neurotypical person walks into a new grocery store, their brains generally process sounds, lights, temperatures, and things like that in the background. There might be a thought or two about differences in this new place, especially around the layout. But they are generally able to get about the task of shopping with relative ease and greet their fellow humans with whatever mood they brought with them.
For me and a lot of other autistic folks, a new grocery store is a special kind of hell. The temperature is the first concern, as I generally regulate my temperature manually - frequently adding and subtracting layers and adjusting the temperature of my home. In the grocery store, there are areas that are extremely cold, and I consciously develop a game plan for getting through those areas. Sometimes I will skip that area entirely!
Of course, the lights and sounds all have to be manually processed and there needs to be time to do that or it can get overwhelming. The people as well. Lots of autistic people will tell you about some level of social anxiety, but even when there isn't an anxiety or fear, as is the case with me, there's still just an autistic social allergy and being around a bunch of strangers makes my neurons kinda sneeze.
Manually-Processed Communication
Communication is also very manual for autistic folks in many ways. I have to consciously keep myself on topic, that does not happen automatically. Same with infodumping, I have to manually keep that in check, personally and professionally. Eye contact? Very intentional and conscious, and not automatic, and uncomfortable. This is what masking is and it's not until I'm in solitude or around those who truly at least try to understand me that I feel I can let my brain go into a more "automatic" setting.
And often, autistic people find themselves manually processing conversations well after-the-fact. In the moment, we're so focused on getting things "right" like eye contact and staying on topic (masking) that we seldom walk away from a conversation knowing exactly how we feel about it!
Too many RPMs: Burnout
Burnout fits into this discussion too, because when we try to drive our "manual transmission" brains and bodies like an automatic, as we so often have to do when we live in neurotypical society, we burn out. Just like my VW Bug would have done if I had tried to drive 60 miles an hour in first gear. We need time as we go throughout our days and lives to manually process and when we don't have it, we often find ourselves not thriving as much as we could be.
Overdrive: High-Performance Hyperfocus
I don't think we can talk about autism in terms of automobiles without pointing out that some of the most high-performance vehicles on the road are shift-shift transmission! And when an autistic mind finds a special interest, there is definitely an advantage! When we finally get to that top gear, at full cruising speed...well, that's monotropism at its finest and autistic people need time to engage in their special interests for this reason.
So, take care of your beautiful manual neurotransmissions! Even if it's a pain in the neck sometimes to be autistic, we can work to make life easier by compassionately giving ourselves time to process our experiences!