Stick Shift Life

With a lot of "manual" effort

NATALIE FURDEK, M.ED., LPC

I've got an awesome mom! I'm sure I'll chat more about her here, but for now, let me tell you how she insisted I learn to drive a stick shift when I was a teenager. Back then (and even now), I thought it was such a hassle, especially cruising around town.



But knowing how to shift gears and manage speed and RPMs came in handy later on. I had a blast owning a Volkswagen Beetle in my early 20s and riding my Harley Davidsons in my late 40s!



In a way, being autistic feels like having a "manual transmission" brain. Neurotypical brains are more like automatic cars, with most of the processing happening smoothly in the background, often without even realizing it.

Manual Sensory Processing

Take sensory experiences, for instance. When a neurotypical person walks into a new grocery store, their brain usually handles the sounds, lights, and temperatures in the background. They might notice a few changes in the layout, but generally, they can shop easily and interact with others in whatever mood they're in.

For me and many other autistic folks, a new grocery store can be a nightmare. The temperature is the first thing I notice because I usually regulate it manually - constantly adding or removing layers and adjusting my home's temperature. In a grocery store, some areas are freezing, so I plan how to get through them, or sometimes I just avoid them!

Lights and sounds also need to be processed manually, and if I don't take the time, it can be overwhelming. The people, too. Many autistic people talk about social anxiety, but even without "anxiety" or "fear," like in my case, there's an autistic social discomfort, and being around strangers makes my neurons act up.

Manually-Processed Communication

Communication is also pretty manual for autistic folks. I have to consciously stay on topic; it doesn't happen automatically. Same with infodumping, I have to keep it in check, both personally and professionally. Eye contact? It's very deliberate and not automatic, and it's uncomfortable. That's what masking is, and it's not until I'm alone or with people who really try to get me that I feel I can let my brain relax a bit.

Often, autistic people plan conversations ahead of time and process them afterward. In the moment, we're so focused on getting things "right," like eye contact and staying on topic (masking), that we rarely walk away from a conversation immediately knowing how we feel about it!

Too many RPMs: Burnout

Burnout is part of this too because when we try to run our "manual transmission" brains like an automatic, which we often have to do in a neurotypical world, we burn out. Just like my VW Bug would have if I tried driving 60 miles an hour in first gear! We need time to process things manually, and without it, we often don't thrive as much as we could.

Overdrive: High-Performance Hyperfocus

You can't talk about autism and cars without mentioning that some of the best-performing vehicles have manual transmissions! And when an autistic mind finds a special interest, there's definitely an upside! When we hit that top gear and cruise...well, that's monotropism at its best, and autistic folks need time to dive into their special interests and hyper-focus for this reason.

So, take care of your awesome manual neurotransmissions! Even if being autistic can be a pain sometimes, we can make life easier by kindly giving ourselves time to process our experiences!